Naughty elephants squirt water.

He sniffed at the air with his wrinkly nose

And made his way on tippety-toes

To the washing line where he stole some clothes

And put them on then suddenly froze

He sniffed and sniffed and sniffed once more

Then followed the fragrance in through the door

Of the house of the lady that came home and saw

Those dirty great footprints across her clean floor

She'd only popped out to buy lemonade

To enjoy with her friends and the buns that she'd made

The buns that she'd placed on the table she'd laid

Before going to the shop on the shopping parade

She couldn't believe the mess that she found

China and table lay scattered around

No buns were remaining, just crumbs on the ground

Then, from up above, there came an odd sound

Those dirty great footprints carried on through

The kitchen and up the stairs, into the loo

She shrieked when she saw it, couldn't imagine who

Could do such a dirty, great, steaming, huge poo

She crept down the landing and peeped through the lock

In the door to her bedroom and got a huge shock 

An elephant winding up her alarm clock

Yawning and stretching and wearing her frock

"You cheeky, wee beggar" the old lady did shout

As she strode in the room waving her cane about

"You'll clean up your mess, of that there's no doubt

Now go flush that toilet, you wrinkly. grey lout"

Now, an elephant's feet were never designed to

Pick up broken plates or to fix them with glue 

And he'd never before had to flush away poo

'Til his recent and daring escape from the zoo

He'd spent many an hour plotting plot after plot

But managed no more than diddly-squat 

Then, this very morning, believe it or not

His cage was left open so off he did trot

He was spotted escaping by that daft keeper who'd

Left unlocked his lock and the keeper pursued

He'd found a disguise and some lovely, warm food

And a toilet upon which he'd sat and he'd pooed

His lack of fingers and thumbs aside

The naughty elephant really tried

To clean up the mess that he'd made inside

The house where the lady who baked did reside

She'd watched and she'd laughed as he'd tried hard to mop

The floor of the kitchen, but she'd had to stop

Him from making it worse with his slop, slop, slop, slop 

And sent him away to the local cake shop

He wore some dark glasses, a scarf and a hat

And crept through the streets as quiet as a cat

Purchased the buns and had a quick chat

With the baker, then turned around and headed back

He'd very near made it without being seen

But the local police force were really quite keen

To capture the beast, they'd rather have been

With coffee and doughnuts in the station canteen

The leaves on the path were hiding a net

That sprang up around him as fast as a jet

Then, quick as a flash, poor Jumbo did get

A jab in the bum from the zoo's friendly vet 

Back behind bars but he didn't feel sad

The pachyderm sat with his trunk in the bag

Of buns that he'd woken to find he still had

He smiled as he munched, life wasn't so bad

 He went and he sucked up a trunk full of water

And sprayed passers by though he shouldn't have oughta

He soaked a fat man and his red headed daughter

Who shrieked and who clutched the stuffed bear that he'd bought her

Then later that night with the moon overhead

And the visitors gone and the residents fed

The big, tired beast lay upon his own bed

And smiled as he thought of adventures ahead

All it would take was a little mishap

A gate left unlocked by that old keeper chap

But next time not stopping to take a quick nap

And not walking into a dirty, great trap

Next time he would make it, to freedom he'd flee

Stowaway on a liner and sail every sea

Or find a nice jungle and finally be

What all creatures want, just happy and free

J2H & PDF.